


life is simple in the moonlight

by orphan_account



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 17:03:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15393372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The thing Luka and Ivan have was something they never questioned and something that always killed them slowly.





	life is simple in the moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the song of the same name by the strokes.

Luka doesn't know if he believes in soulmates.

He believes in love, sure, but love comes in different forms. There's his love for football, for his wife and children, for the country whose jersey he's going to be wearing at this World Cup. Love is not something you can easily define, to Luka it's not even a separate feeling, it's almost always mixed with joy, pride, relief. That's why it's so easy to know love exists. 

Soulmates, on the other hand, _are_ definable. While love does come in different forms, the romantic connotation of _soulmates_ is always undeniably linked with that term.

The only reason he's even thinking about this is because of the conversation he's had with Ivan over the phone the night before their flight to Russia. They don't usually talk about feelings, it's not their thing. They play football, they parent the younger teammates more than they should (not even remotely enough if you ask _them_ , though) and they watch the shittiest TV shows when they share a room together, but they don't talk about feelings. 

During that phone call, they mostly talk about what's waiting for them at the World Cup. Even though they don't say it, both of them know how much this means to them and how lucky they are to be by each other's side for such an important role they're to fulfill soon enough. It's just how they are, men of few words. Both of them are quite shy and reasonably quiet and maybe that's the reason why they get along so well. Silence for them isn't uncomfortable, it's a place they often slip into just to feel like themselves again after a long day of yelling at the training or doing press conferences. 

Ivan asks about Vanja and about her and Luka's children and Luka answers in brief sentences like he always does, _They're good. Everything's good. How about your girls?_ It's not that they're not interested in each other's personal lives, not at all, but both of them feel like even talking about them is some form of lacking on another field. Unfaithfulness isn't something they ever discuss yet it's something they often feel. 

When both of them feel the conversation nearing to an end, Ivan says ''I love you,'' and hangs up, not waiting for Luka to reply. He never does. Luka always says _I love you_ back to the finished conversation still lingering through the telephone wire. This time is no dfferent.

That's when Luka starts thinking about soulmates. It sounds so cliche, something straight out of a rom-com or one of those cheap novels you can find on news stands, always buried underneath other, more relevant books. 

Maybe that's what they are. Maybe that's why they don't feel guilty when their hands are roaming each other's bodies in the hotel rooms god knows where when they're in town together. Maybe they aren't soulmates and that's why they always do it with the lights off.

It's just that. Ivan always understood Luka, they were always on the same wavelength. But this thing they have, it's always them trying to run away from it, almost purposely refusing to acknowledge they're running in circles. At this point in his life, Luka doesn't even know if he _can_ yet alone wants to live without it. When he's old, he wants their kids to still be friends and he wants them to still watch their old games on the TV and yell at the tiny versions of themselves on the screen when they do something wrong. He wants to still call Ivan first when he hears some good news and he still wants to kiss those lips, even if they have to do it in the small bathroom stall, crammed together and shielded from the outer world and the prying eyes. 

Luka knows what's going to happen when they see each other again and his body feels too weak to protest it. He knows he's giving in. 

He loves his family. But this, this is something else. At which point does the need to feel somebody else's heartbeat, your palm pressed against another man's chest feel more important than the requirement to live an honorable life?

Luke would give up a thousand honorable lives if he got to wake up next to Ivan every morning.

He suspects Vanja knows. Maybe not everything but at least something, at least that their touches, even the ones that are as innocent as pats on the back or handshakes, aren't just that, are skin meeting familiar skin in a pattern so known to them it reeks of many previous acquaintances. There's a certain dose of animalistic reflex in their need to be together. It's so fucking obvious that Luka doesn't know how no one ever picked up on it.

Luka loves the life he has and he knows Ivan does, too. That was never an issue. These are the cards they've been dealt and they're always going to try to make it work. Maybe that was his answer all along. Maybe sleepy green eyes and warm morning hugs and gentle caresses are something a lot of people have in their lovers. But Luka knows for certain this feeling he has when he's with _him_ is something universe had in plan just for them. 

Luka still isn't sure if he believes in soulmates. It would be easy to believe in them. It would be easy to say he loves Vanja, but Ivan is-

He's not the kind of person who would let himself go down that road. He's always going to cherish their moments together and be ready to fight Ivan's demons twice as hard as he fights his own. Ivan always had it worse. Ivan always let his thoughts kill him. 

Luka dials Ivan's number. 

''I love you, too,'' he says and hangs up.


End file.
